Sometimes Life is just hard…

I thought about only writing when I had something enlightening or profound to say but then I realized, I might not be able to write for weeks. And since this is My Life in Pieces well sometimes the pieces are hard. The last two days were hard. Wednesday I went to a client’s house to dust for her and there was this curio on the wall and I asked if she wanted me to dust it too and she said yes but to be careful with one of the figurines cause it was valuable. About two hours after dusting the other parts of her house I finally decided to tackle that curio. Ever so carefully I opened the doors and started taking out the figurines one by one. There was this beautiful pink egg that started to roll and as I reached to catch it, my arm bumped the nose of the valuable figurine and they both went tumbling to the floor. To say I had a meltdown was an understatement. Why that figurine? Well my client was very merciful and forgiving and as she left to go back to work she hugged me and told me we were good and that it was just a thing. Her words were comforting but I still felt miserable and like such a jerk. I cried for 45 minutes straight.

I went home just wanting to quit my housecleaning jobs because no matter how hard you try and how careful you are, chances are you are going to break something. I took my dogs out to the corral and let them stay out for about an hour and crashed on my couch in much physical pain. Cleaning houses really affects me physically and I hurt for days. The last two weeks I’ve been working 4 and 5 days a week and the pain has been excruciating but I thank God He gives me the will and stamina to go on. And I am thankful to have the clients and jobs I have.

I never planned on being a house cleaner. It just fell into my lap. My neighbor was working for a woman and she was opening her own store so asked if I was interested in taking over for this woman she was helping who had just gone through surgery from breast cancer. It progressed from there, one referral after another. And I couldn’t ask for more wonderful clients. They are all so amazing and loving and they let me blast my Christian music while I work. And I have been blessed to have some pretty amazing conversations with them.

So anyway I go out to get my dogs. I usually have to coax my boxer mix with a biscuit to get her to come to me immediately, but this time I didn’t have one but she came running anyway. I was so excited and as I got her leash ready, she ran right through me and up the hill to chase two chickens that belonged to the neighbor behind me. Cady my other boxer followed right behind. I’m yelling and screaming at them and when I finally catch up, they have this poor chicken pinned down. As far as I could see she only lost a bunch of feathers and I didn’t see any blood on her or my dogs. As I pulled Jewels off of her, she took of running and to this day I don’t know if they found her. I was so upset and immediately talked to the neighbors and all the man would say to me is, “Uh huh.”

Anyone who knows me, knows I love animals and would never allow my dogs to hurt them on purpose. Before I let them out in the morning, I always check to make sure there are no turkeys in the yard. The one time I didn’t I had 20+ turkeys flying right at me with the dogs chasing behind them. I caught Jewels batting a mole around in the corral once and I couldn’t stand it and set her free, even though they are the worst animals to have in your yard. When I was about 10, I saved and nurtured a jackrabbit back to health when the neighbors cat got it. And much to my parents horror I used to bring home every stray animal I found… cats, dogs, lizards, bunnies, horned toads and even a snake once. I’m one of those people who watch movies and get mad if the animal is killed or hurt.

I got back to my house after looking for the poor chicken and all I could do was just cry again. I was shaking so bad for hours. When Greg came home, I poured out my story and broke down and cried again. I think I fractured my fingered a few months ago and after pulling Jewels off the chicken, I think I fractured it again.

Thursday I worked again with no incident and three and a half hours later., I got into my car and headed to our Awakening Prayer Service. What normally takes 55 minutes took 2 1/2 hours due to a major accident in Lathrop. By the time I got to prayer, every joint and muscle was in pain including my head. I was still able to get up and worship and sing and felt much better emotionally.

I always try to ask myself, ” What does God want me to learn from this?” and try to find a lesson in all the things I go through. So you ask what did I learn from this? Well, the jury is still out on that one.

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2 thoughts on “Sometimes Life is just hard…

  1. Thank you for sharing Diane. I hope you are able to have a restful night and feel better tomorrow. Your writing is so honest and you pour out your heart in your words. I can relate to so many things you speak of–especially the love of animals. I totally get how distraught you were over the dogs getting to the poor chicken. I hope she (the chicken) shows up soon. Your neighbor must have seen how upset you were. Some folks just don’t react to emotional situations and I don’t get it but the world is made up of so many kinds of people.
    Anyway, here I am tonight reading your amazing blog and feeling much less alone in my own troubles and sadness.
    So thank you so much for that.
    I hope your week ahead goes much better and you will be in my prayers
    dear heart.

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