Watching My Children Having Children: Noah and Tiffany, Part One

I have 13 beautiful grandchildren! Until 2013 I had never been there for any of the births. Not for lack of invitation but lack of circumstances making it possible for me to go. I remember once when my step-daughter Shirley invited me but I couldn’t go and I cried when Greg left without me.

But in October of 2013 that was about to change. My 2nd born Noah and his wife were having a baby and not only was I invited to be there, my son made it very clear that I HAD TO BE THERE! I remember the day Tiff went into Labor. Moms, sisters, brothers and dads were all at the hospital. We filled up the whole waiting room.

During the early part of labor I asked Tiff if she and Noah had taken any classes and did any breathing exercises. The answer was no since she was getting an epidural. An alarm went off in my head and I got on Youtube and started looking up breathing exercises for birth. I had a friend go through labor many years ago and expected to get the epidural and because she had back problems, they wouldn’t give it to her and I accidentally became her birth coach. At that time I remembered my breathing exercises and was able to help her. I didn’t think I was ever going to have full use of my hand though as she would never let go of it. I couldn’t even leave her to use the restroom. It was like I became a part of her body.

Back to Tiff……..So here I am thinking should I start telling her some breathing exercises just in case? Well I didn’t want to come off as the bossy mother-in-law so I kept silent until………………………………they couldn’t find the anesthesiologist and birth pains were getting harder. My son was sick sitting in a chair and there I was thinking, “Ok,darn it I can’t just stand here and watch her be in pain.” So we started breathing together. It seemed to be helping and she was a great student.

The anesthesiologist finally arrived and she got her epidural. Whew! Until……………… started wearing off on one side and the anesthesiologist was nowhere to be found again. This was harder. I jumped back in and we started breathing again together. I can remember at times getting so light headed but I couldn’t leave her. I was blowing right in her face and was so worried my breath might be killing her but when I asked she told me to stay in her face so I guess it wasn’t that bad hahaha.

There were times I had to turn my head away so she wouldn’t see my tears. It killed me to see her in so much pain. At one point I think I asked someone to take over and I ran into the bathroom and cried my eyes out. Got myself pulled together again and went back inside and continued once again to be an accidental birthing coach.

After many hours of labor and an epidural now working, (and a very happy mommy to be who was telling the anesthesiologist how much she loved him haha) we knew Mr Liam was not coming that night and all us girls laid on the floor and tried to sleep. It was a labor and delivery slumber party. I think there were about 6 of us sleeping on the floor. The nurses were so amazing by letting us stay there.

Liam didn’t decide to make his entry until 7:30 the following night. I had to jump back in before delivery with some more breathing and wet washcloths. Poor Noah was so sick. Tiffany was just so cute. Right before he came out she was apologizing to everyone for her behavior. We were all laughing. I love that girl!!!

And after a long time of pushing (an getting a little nervous) Liam came into the world. I cried! It was the most beautiful moment of my life other then when I was giving birth to my own children.

My son just became a daddy. We all left letting daddy and mommy be alone with their little bundle of joy. I wanted to hold him sooo bad but I knew my time would come so I left. At 1:00 in the morning I got call to come to the hospital and give Tiff some time to rest and shower. I didn’t see it til 3:00 am but called the hospital as soon as I did. I am not a morning person and I hate driving in the dark especially in the country but that morning………..I was wide awake. It took me 45 minutes to get there but it was so worth it. There I was holding this beautiful baby boy for the first time and it was just me and him all alone. And I cried again.

Next time: Ryan and Beckie

Peace, Focus, and Loyalty

Today has been a hard day….I watch the news and look on facebook and it’s just hate, hate, hate. Then there are people saying hateful things about the people hating. It has really grieved my heart to the point of exhaustion and tears. I finally had to shut off the news and put on Christmas movies.

As I was crying and praying though, my dog Jewels comes up to me and puts her head in my lap. As much as I wished it was for comfort, what she was really saying was, “Mom, I want to go outside.” Sigh. I got up put leashes on the dogs  and opened the door to the most amazing sight: there were about 11+ doves in my yard.

I love doves. To me they signify peace, focus and loyalty. I felt at that moment God was sending me a gift. He reminded me that He has given me peace. Not the peace that the world gives but his peace. John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; My [perfect] peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid. [Let My perfect peace calm you in every circumstance and give you courage and strength for every challenge.] AMP

He reminded me to keep my focus on Him not what is said, reasoned, surmised, predicted but on His heart and what His word tells me. Proverbs 4:25 Let your eyes look directly ahead [toward the path of moral courage] And let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you [toward the path of integrity]. AMP

I read once that Doves mate for life. They are totally loyal and focused on  each other. In Song of Soloman 4:1 (reading as an allegory with the King representing the Lord and the maiden me, you, and/or the church as His bride) the kings says “How fair and beautiful you are, my darling,
How very beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are like those of a dove;

and verse 9 “You have ravished my heart and given me courage, my sister, my [promised] bride; You have ravished my heart and given me courage with a single glance of your eyes,AMP

What ever thoughts I have had or have been inclined to have the Lord was reminding me to: Ps 19:14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable and pleasing in Your sight, O Lord, my [firm, immovable] rock and my Redeemer.

As I finish writing this blog I will endeavor to Col 3:15 Let the peace of Christ [the inner calm of one who walks daily with Him] be the controlling factor in (my) your hearts [deciding and settling questions that arise]. To this peace indeed you were called as members in one body [of believers]. And be thankful [to God always].

I am thankful that God sent me a flock of Doves to remind me just how much He loves me and cares for my heart and calls me to come sit in His lap and trust Him with my prayers and to be encouraged because He has overcome the world! All I need to do is stay peaceful, remain loyal and live focused on Him and the impossibles that are possible to Him!!

My Stomach Affects My Mind

19 days ago I wrote only my second blog. I had great intentions of writing every day but the only thing on my mind was the election. I have never cried, prayed, travailed and cried out in any election as much as I did this one. It was so intense for me that I couldn’t even eat yesterday till midnight. My stomach has been tied up in knots for weeks.

I have incredible faith, in fact it’s one of my spiritual gifts. And I heard over and over, “Don’t worry God is still on the throne no matter what happens.” And although I believe that wholeheartedly. I also know that scripture says that if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” My hope and prayer was that we as God’s people were doing that very thing. Was it enough? What if there weren’t enough of us doing that? My thoughts kept going back to when God was going to destroy Sodom and how Abraham kept saying what if He found 50, then 45, then 30, then 20 and finally 10 righteous people would He spare the city. God ended up destroying Sodom because he couldn’t even find 10.

My mind was consumed and every time I tried to write, I would hit a wall and end up back in prayer, tears, and travailing. It was agonizing. But today I was able to breathe again and am ready to jump back into this blog with full force. I will remain though in an attitude and posture of prayer since I know this is never ending for me. I will not stop praying for our leadership and our country. I feel that God has awakened something deeper in me through this time that I have never experienced before.

I started researching writing prompts, quotes, sentence starters etc…..and today I created a box and filled it with all kinds of prompts for those days when nothing wants to come out of me.  So be warned…it may get a little crazy in here. I’m going to try and reach into that box every day and write something on that little piece of paper I pull out unless otherwise inspired. I need to practice to get better because I have dreamed of being a writer for many years. I know God has more books inside of me.

I am an “experience writer” not to be confused with “experienced writer”. I write from what I have gone through in my life and the lessons God has taught me through them. I’m not a theological genius so I steer very clear of that arena. I write from my heart, my joy, my pain and my triumph. And sometimes I can throw a little humor in there while I laugh at myself.

So beginning tomorrow. Lord willing….I’m going start writing about my life in pieces: one word at a time.