My Stomach Affects My Mind

19 days ago I wrote only my second blog. I had great intentions of writing every day but the only thing on my mind was the election. I have never cried, prayed, travailed and cried out in any election as much as I did this one. It was so intense for me that I couldn’t even eat yesterday till midnight. My stomach has been tied up in knots for weeks.

I have incredible faith, in fact it’s one of my spiritual gifts. And I heard over and over, “Don’t worry God is still on the throne no matter what happens.” And although I believe that wholeheartedly. I also know that scripture says that if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” My hope and prayer was that we as God’s people were doing that very thing. Was it enough? What if there weren’t enough of us doing that? My thoughts kept going back to when God was going to destroy Sodom and how Abraham kept saying what if He found 50, then 45, then 30, then 20 and finally 10 righteous people would He spare the city. God ended up destroying Sodom because he couldn’t even find 10.

My mind was consumed and every time I tried to write, I would hit a wall and end up back in prayer, tears, and travailing. It was agonizing. But today I was able to breathe again and am ready to jump back into this blog with full force. I will remain though in an attitude and posture of prayer since I know this is never ending for me. I will not stop praying for our leadership and our country. I feel that God has awakened something deeper in me through this time that I have never experienced before.

I started researching writing prompts, quotes, sentence starters etc…..and today I created a box and filled it with all kinds of prompts for those days when nothing wants to come out of me.  So be warned…it may get a little crazy in here. I’m going to try and reach into that box every day and write something on that little piece of paper I pull out unless otherwise inspired. I need to practice to get better because I have dreamed of being a writer for many years. I know God has more books inside of me.

I am an “experience writer” not to be confused with “experienced writer”. I write from what I have gone through in my life and the lessons God has taught me through them. I’m not a theological genius so I steer very clear of that arena. I write from my heart, my joy, my pain and my triumph. And sometimes I can throw a little humor in there while I laugh at myself.

So beginning tomorrow. Lord willing….I’m going start writing about my life in pieces: one word at a time.

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