21 Day Fast: Day Four

I spent probably 30 plus years dealing with depression. I studied it, I took classes, and I sought to counsel but I could never seem to get free of it. 20 years ago my teacher/ counselor told me that the expectation I had for what a person was supposed to be in my life was never going to happen and could I just forgive and love him/her for the person they were? He told me it was ok to grieve my loss of my expectation but then I needed to move on. Best advise I ever got and it became the beginning of a process of healing in my life.

I chose to forgive and love the person for who they were and accept the role they played in my life and I’m able to do that now more with others who have hurt me and to love and accept the person they are: not what I wanted them to be

Then I had a major crisis in my life that tested my faith in ways I had never been tested before but I chose not to let the enemy destroy me or the plans that God had for me in the future. As I moved through the healing process and with many prayers………….one day I woke up and I just felt this heavy burden lifted off of me, I felt light and pure joy. I was supernaturally healed and I knew it.

I have hard days but I never fall backward anymore. It may take a couple of days to recover but I just keep pressing onward. I’ve learned to just let things roll off my back now and just stay tight with the Lord and let Him deal with the circumstances.

Luke 22:32 says but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again strengthen your brothers.”

Jesus was letting Peter know that Satan was going to sift him like wheat but that he was going to recover and to use what he had been through to help others.

Jesus is always interceding for us.

Roman’s 8:34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.

In John 17 We can read Jesus’ prayer for us….that His joy in us would be fulfilled, God would keep us from evil, and  He would sanctify us in His truth. He knew we would go through trials but He also knows we are going to come out of them. We just need to believe it.

When my marriage was about to end, I heard the Lord tell me to stay and to trust Him and that I would rise up. He even had a woman sing a song in the darkest hour of my life about rising up. And when she sang it, I felt like I was the only person in the room and God himself was singing that over me. God knew I was going to rise up and He also knew that my experience would strengthen others.

He has used my husband and myself to be a testimony and to come alongside others and support them in their pain because we know how it feels but we also know how to defeat what the enemy designed to destroy us and let what God use it to perfect us.

When Jesus went to the Mount of Olives he took the disciples with him and told them to pray that they would not enter into temptation. While He moved away to pray the disciples fell asleep in their sorrow. They were depressed and didn’t want to deal with it. Then Jesus comes to them and says, “Why are you sleeping? Rise and pray that you may not enter into temptation.”

The temptations I faced were quitting, wanting to die, wanting to hurt someone, and wanting to run away and hide. But hearing God tell me to rise up, I knew I had to do the opposite and let Him work in me and through me. And He was and is always faithful!

My third day of fasting was bread and water only. I couldn’t wait to put that bread in my mouth and I was highly disappointed hahahaha. It was like no big deal. My thoughts were highly overrated.

Making my way through day four..Blessings!