My Greatest Joy/My Greatest Sorrow

img_20190823_142427

Going to the shelter to walk dogs is my happy place…..my greatest joy but it can also be my sad place….my greatest sorrow. A couple of days ago I had to say good-bye to my beautiful sweet girl Farah. Farah’s quality of life was getting worse the longer she was in the shelter. She couldn’t get placed into a home with another dog because she didn’t like or get along with them. The staff tried so hard to help her adjust but she couldn’t get past being reactive. If there was any way possible, I would have taken her home but that door just wasn’t open for me.

But with me, she was my little love bunny. I started volunteering at the end of May but didn’t start walking dogs til June. Farah was on of my first dogs. She nearly pulled me on the ground the first time I walked her. She was so strong. But I instantly bonded with her.

I don’t know much about her history only that she was brought in as a stray after being hit by a car but I would always kiss her little facial scars and tell her how beautiful she was and how much I loved her.

The day before she crossed the rainbow bridge, I went down to the play yard where another volunteer had her. As soon as she saw me, she got so excited and was jumping on the fence to see me. The volunteer was surprised and said, ” Wow! She never does that for me!” Farah loved me and she knew I loved her. A staff member also knew I had a relationship with the dog and made sure I was alerted to her crossing over. I asked to be with her when it happened and they let me. I will forever be grateful.

Farah’s’ last day was spent eating 5 cheeseburgers, cookies and ice cream coated cookies. We spent it together in one of the play yards in the back. It was so hard and my heart was just breaking but I wanted her to know how much she was loved and just wanted to spoil her with food and affection. One of the staff members joined me and we just talked. It was nice to have the company and have someone to talk to about her.

When I would walk Farah, we didn’t walk too far because she was so strong and pulled me. I always just gave her extended love time in the yard and grabbed peanut butter treats as we entered the kennel area. This day I decided she could pull me all she wanted and we went for a very long walk. She was pretty tired when we got done and was given two more sausage burgers.

Farah went to sleep on my legs and right before she took her last breath I leaned over and kissed her good-bye. My tears are falling as I write this and my heart is hurting so badly but I know she isn’t suffering any more and I really hope there are dogs in heaven and that she will be there to greet me when I get there along with my Jill, Jack and Jericho.