Spencer who is now Benji is now Spenji to me!! Spenji came in as a stray with another dog and lived there until August 18th the day I began fostering him. He was declining in the shelter and becoming unadobtable. I cannot even begin to tell you how bonded the two of us became and I was dying inside because I knew in my heart this dog was special and deserved a chance to grow and find his forever home. My kids had just bought a house and were getting ready to move out the weekend of the 18th. A window of opportunity opened for me give this boy a chance to show how great he was. Although my husband was not thrilled with me fostering, he supported me, knowing how important Spenji was to me.
You can read all about our time together in my previous blogs. I had been working with a potential adopter who was so amazing and willing to give Spenji all the time he needed to get to know him. We were setting up a time for our next meeting when I got a call that shook me to the core. I should have been thrilled but I was terrified. Spenji’s former owner had found him and was there to reclaim him. Normally I would be jumping up and down but I didn’t know this person who was going to be taking my baby off my hands. The information about how he found Spenji and anything about the case was confidential so they couldn’t really even tell me about his dad and the circimstances that led him to the shelter and his being found. I cried all night and all day the next day, so much so I gave myself a throbbing headache. I couldn’t even talk about it so I had to hang up with my hubby and text him instead.
I had spent some much time and hard work working with Spenji’s shy and fearfulness and loving his with all my heart. Was my baby going to be ok? I had to put my trust in the shelter and believe that they wouldn’t allow him to go back into a bad situation. I can tell you now, that that the moment Spenji saw his daddy walk through the door, he was home….his forever home!!! He was so excited he peed on the sidewalk and from that point on never left his daddy’s side. All the weight I was carrying for him just fell off and was replaced with joy and happiness. My baby was so happy!!! The video speaks volumes. I have watched it so much that my husband says, “You’re watching it again?” I can’t help myself. It was a beautiful moment that I will never forget.
So now what do I do with my heart? I’m so happy for him but darn if he didn’t take a piece of my heart with him. I couldn’t even go down to the basement for hours after because I knew I would see his empty crate, bowl and food dish sitting there without him. How can one be so happy yet so sad at the same time? Last night I felt so lost. He wasn’t playing ball upstairs or chewing on his enrichment. I felt like I needed to be taking him outside for his last pee for the night and around 9 I was ready to take him down to bed but arrgggg he wasn’t there. Today I feel so lost. My schedule is all messed up. I keep feeling like there is something I need to do. I can’t imagine how foster peeps deal with this, who have had their foster’s a lot longer then I did.
Fostering is hard work especially when you have other dogs. Because Spenji had snapped at other dogs, we kept ours apart from him except when walking. He had shown great progress walking with my Jewels and we were working on integrating them when the time was right. I had to have a schedule for Spenji, my dogs and my grandkids. It was hard but we were in a routine. Now I have this extra time on my hands so I rearranged my kitchen. If you ask me would I do it all over again, I would say in a heartbeat. However, the next time I foster will be after my girls have passed on. They are 7 and 10. When they do pass on, my dream is to pour myself into fostering seniors and endangered dogs.
So happy life my sweet baby boy. I will never forget you! Be the best boy I know you can be. I love you sooooooooooooooooooo much!!